No matter how well you plan every detail of your move, the moving process is notoriously unpredictable and sometimes the entire moving experience can turn out to be miserable, disappointing and even disastrous.
But believe it or not, things can get much worse after the move when your initial expectations collide with harsh reality in a way that you did not anticipate before the move. You may end up regretting moving to a new city.
There is a big difference between being unpleasantly surprised by the reality after moving and regretting the move. Ultimately, regret is one of the worst things that can happen to you after moving, simply because it will probably bother and upset you every day until you manage to find a good solution.
The feeling of regret when moving is usually unmistakable and it can be very difficult to deal with the bitter disappointment and even suppressed anger at yourself when you realize you have made a mistake. Yes, dealing with regret can be a serious challenge that you need to overcome quickly in order to regain your emotional balance.
What to do if you regret your move? Don't give up without a fight!
Here are 5 things to do if you regret your move:
1. Find out why you regret the move
The very first thing you should do when you start to regret moving is to try to figure out why you regret your decision to move.
Sometimes, answering the why question will show you the possible solution to the problem itself. There must surely be a reason for the regret, or perhaps even multiple reasons why you feel the way you do. Therefore, it should be your special mission to find the source of the regret in order to remedy the situation.
So, why do you regret moving to a new place?
You miss your friends. One of the most common reasons for regretting your move is the fact that you had to leave your good friends behind and now you feel like a stranger in a strange place, surrounded by strangers. You may miss your friends terribly now and wish you hadn’t had to leave them.
You miss your old home. Moving to a new, unfamiliar place can bring on an immediate sense of regret, especially if you still love your old home. It’s normal to feel awkward and unwelcome when you step into your new house or apartment, but that feeling of unease may not go away and may even become stronger as the weeks go by.
You hate the new city or town. You may find yourself regretting moving to a small town, especially if you come from a big city. Do you feel stuck in a place where nothing ever happens? Moving from a small town to a big city can also bring on feelings of regret, especially when you find yourself lost in an endless sea of unfriendly faces.
You hate your new job. The new job you get in your destination city may not be what you imagined before the move. Aside from the nature of the job, you may also end up disliking most or even all of your new coworkers.
You can't stand the climate. If you survive just one harsh winter, you'll regret leaving your warm, sunny state. Or you just can't see how you'll survive another scorching Arizona summer if you've just moved from up north.
Answer the “why” question and you have a chance to find a good solution to get rid of that constant feeling of regret after a move.
2. Focus on the positives
What to do if you regret your move?
Let there be no regrets.
Once the move is over, some things may not be exactly as you imagined them before the move. As a result, you will likely feel disappointed, sad, and perhaps even miserable, and deeply regret your decision to move.
To feel better about the whole move, you should try to change the way you see things around you. Changing your overall perspective can be the key to shaking off any lingering regrets and feeling good again.
But how do you change your perspective on things after the move if they’re just not what you thought they would be? It’s easier than you think: focus on what you gain and NOT what you’ve lost as a result of the move.
Here's what you need to do: Make a list of all the things that will be better for you with this move. There are bound to be some positive things about the move, otherwise you probably wouldn't have moved.
Here's what the great Alexander Graham Bell once said:
"When one door closes, another door opens. But we often look so long and with such regret at the closed door that we do not see the door that opens for us."
And once you have finished listing the pros and cons of moving in your specific case, all you need to do is focus on the positives so you won't regret your move anymore.
In addition, it is good to embrace the opportunities that the new apartment/house offers. You might become friends with people from the neighborhood and build a good friendship. Who knows, you might even meet your best friend!
Instead of looking at the past, you should also look at the new opportunities in the future. Do you still have regrets?
3. Stay in touch with good friends
Regret is almost inevitable, especially immediately after the move. You are in a strange, unfamiliar environment, so it is easy to feel sad and nostalgic about what you just lost in the move.
And what you will probably regret most after a move is the fact that you no longer see your best friends who, for example, lived nearby as often.
Whether or not you had the choice, or whether you had to leave your old home, is not important right now. What is relevant right now is to make the best of the situation you are in. You cannot undo what has already been done, so what you can do is try your best to keep in touch with your good friends, no matter how far apart you are.
Set a day and time when you and your best friends can talk to each other - by telephone or on the internet via another social medium such as Zoom, Whatsapp or Teams. How often you communicate with your friends depends on several factors, such as your daily schedule, their daily schedule, and whether you have something interesting to talk about. There are no rules of communication here. You can choose to hear their voices every day or once a week.
Are you no longer able to see certain friends? Consider exchanging actual letters and/or postcards with the friends you had to leave behind. This is a great way to stay in touch and give yourself more time to think of new and exciting things to share with the people closest to you in between letters or postcards.
Invite your closest friends to come visit you at the new location, when it suits you both. Or make concrete plans to go back to the old location to see them again. That way, just the thought of spending a few days with your close friends should make the abrupt change much more bearable for you and also help you not to regret your decision to move.
And while it's a good idea to maintain ties to your past, remember that the only way to move forward is to make new friends when the opportunity arises to do so.
4. Make the unknown place a familiar place
Moving to a new city alone
The only way to start liking the new place is to be brave enough to explore it.
One of the biggest reasons to regret a move is that you have replaced familiarity with unfamiliarity and comfort with discomfort. You have just moved to a strange place where most people may seem cold and welcoming, while the surroundings feel foreign and sometimes even threatening.
During those first weeks and even months, you might want to go back to a familiar place, where people weren’t so distant and everything just made sense to you. But going back might not be an option at all, so you’ll have to find a way to deal with the strong feeling of nostalgia to get rid of the regret of moving.
In fact, there are a few things you can do to improve the situation:
- Making the current place feel more like home
- Get to know the city or place better to shake off that nagging feeling of strangeness and unfamiliarity.
- Consider furnishing your new home in such a way that it is more cozy and comfortable to live in.
- Arrange the furniture exactly as it was in your old house, or at least close enough.
- Explore the new city, town or municipality to get to know the area better.
5. Let time heal your regrets
If no matter what you do, you can't seem to get rid of that horrible feeling of regret after moving, there's one more thing you should try that should work great and that's to give yourself more time.
They say that time heals all wounds, so you should also give yourself more time to acclimatize to the new environment, more time to make new friends, and more time to make the new house or apartment feel like your own home. You just have to believe that adjustment is the key to feeling good again, because it often is.
Good things happen to those who wait... and hopefully, time will help you overcome your regrets about moving. But things don't always end well, so you may find yourself stuck in the throes of regret over your decision to move. Your situation can be further complicated if you happen to experience moving depression as a result of your move.
How to Overcome Moving Depression After a Move
If you’ve tried everything and nothing works… you may have no choice but to move again. Here’s the deal: You can either move back to the place you left (if nostalgia proves too overwhelming) or you can choose to move somewhere brand new in the hopes of finding that elusive sense of happiness that you somehow lost along the way.
And if another move is coming up, you probably won't have the energy or the desire to organize another move all by yourself. So it's time to have your next move managed by a to be carried out by an experienced moving company.
Request a free quote from the best moving companies in the Netherlands.
